Whinning!!

I sure sometimes forget what is like to be close to somebody, of course my friends but really? Are they my friends when they don't even know the real me? The misadventure my life has turned to? The fact that Im attracted to men? Too many questions that I really don't know how to answer, I sometimes feel drowned in insecurities, yet I disguise them in jokes and subject changes. Normally I'm Ok with who I have become, I'm well known in school so I enjoy some social amenities and teachers never complaint about having me in their class, gues I'm not that undesirable... Perhaps for you to understand my whinning you need to know about my past.